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Cows With Guns

Dana Lyons

 

Intro:  / Am - - G / Am - - - / - - - G / Am - - - /

 

Am

Fat and docile, big and dumb

They look so stupid, they aren't much fun

G                Am

Cows aren't fun

 

Am

They eat to grow, grow to die

Die to be et at the hamburger fry

G              Am

Cows well done

 

Am

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew

No one imagined a great cow guru

G            Am

Cows are one

 

Am

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal

He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal

G           Am

Cow Tse Tung

 

Am

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred

He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd

G            Am

Cow doldrums

 

Am

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die

Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

G            Am

Bad cow pun

 

Am

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate

Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate

G              Am

Cows are bummed

 

Am

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy

No one suspected he was packing an Uzi

G               Am

Cows with guns

 

Am

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh

He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye

G             Am

Cow well hung

 

Am

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door

Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor

G              Am

Run cows run!

 

Am                                                                (tacet)

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay

We are free roving bovines, we run free today

 

 

Am

They crashed the gate in a great stampede

Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed

G               Am

Cows have fun

 

Am

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap

Covered in cow pies, covered up deep

G              Am

Much cow dung

 

Am                                  

Black smoke rising, darkening the day

            (tacet)

Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

 

Chorus

 

Am

The President said "enough is enough

These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"

G               Am

Cow dung flung

 

Am

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief

Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef

G             Am

Cows on buns

 

Am

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed

They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay

G             Am      (tacet)

Cows out gunned

 

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers

But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

 

Chorus

This file is the author's own work and represents his interpretation of this song. It's intended solely for private study, scholarship or research.