FREE Christmas Carol Songbook

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    Cows With Guns

    Dana Lyons

     

    Intro:  / Am - - G / Am - - - / - - - G / Am - - - /

     

    Am

    Fat and docile, big and dumb

    They look so stupid, they aren't much fun

    G                Am

    Cows aren't fun

     

    Am

    They eat to grow, grow to die

    Die to be et at the hamburger fry

    G              Am

    Cows well done

     

    Am

    Nobody thunk it, nobody knew

    No one imagined a great cow guru

    G            Am

    Cows are one

     

    Am

    He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal

    He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal

    G           Am

    Cow Tse Tung

     

    Am

    He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred

    He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd

    G            Am

    Cow doldrums

     

    Am

    He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die

    Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

    G            Am

    Bad cow pun

     

    Am

    But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate

    Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate

    G              Am

    Cows are bummed

     

    Am

    He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy

    No one suspected he was packing an Uzi

    G               Am

    Cows with guns

     

    Am

    They came with a needle to stick in his thigh

    He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye

    G             Am

    Cow well hung

     

    Am

    Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door

    Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor

    G              Am

    Run cows run!

     

    Am                                                                (tacet)

    He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay

    We are free roving bovines, we run free today

     

    Chorus:

                F                        C

    We will fight for bovine freedom

            E                             Am

    And hold our large heads high

                F                        C              E

    We will run free with the buffalo, or die

    G               Am  G  Am

    Cows with guns

     

    Am

    They crashed the gate in a great stampede

    Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed

    G               Am

    Cows have fun

     

    Am

    Sixty police cars were piled in a heap

    Covered in cow pies, covered up deep

    G              Am

    Much cow dung

     

    Am                                  

    Black smoke rising, darkening the day

                (tacet)

    Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

     

    Chorus

     

    Am

    The President said "enough is enough

    These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"

    G               Am

    Cow dung flung

     

    Am

    The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief

    Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef

    G             Am

    Cows on buns

     

    Am

    The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed

    They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay

    G             Am      (tacet)

    Cows out gunned

     

    The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

    Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers

    But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

    Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

     

    Chorus


    This file is the author's own work and represents his interpretation of this song. It's intended solely for private study, scholarship or research.