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Cows With Guns

Dana Lyons


Intro:  / Am - - G / Am - - - / - - - G / Am - - - /



Fat and docile, big and dumb

They look so stupid, they aren't much fun

G                Am

Cows aren't fun



They eat to grow, grow to die

Die to be et at the hamburger fry

G              Am

Cows well done



Nobody thunk it, nobody knew

No one imagined a great cow guru

G            Am

Cows are one



He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal

He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal

G           Am

Cow Tse Tung



He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred

He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd

G            Am

Cow doldrums



He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die

Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

G            Am

Bad cow pun



But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate

Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate

G              Am

Cows are bummed



He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy

No one suspected he was packing an Uzi

G               Am

Cows with guns



They came with a needle to stick in his thigh

He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye

G             Am

Cow well hung



Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door

Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor

G              Am

Run cows run!


Am                                                                (tacet)

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay

We are free roving bovines, we run free today



            F                        C

We will fight for bovine freedom

        E                             Am

And hold our large heads high

            F                        C              E

We will run free with the buffalo, or die

G               Am  G  Am

Cows with guns



They crashed the gate in a great stampede

Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed

G               Am

Cows have fun



Sixty police cars were piled in a heap

Covered in cow pies, covered up deep

G              Am

Much cow dung



Black smoke rising, darkening the day


Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way





The President said "enough is enough

These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"

G               Am

Cow dung flung



The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief

Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef

G             Am

Cows on buns



The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed

They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay

G             Am      (tacet)

Cows out gunned


The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers

But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers



This file is the author's own work and represents his interpretation of this song. It's intended solely for private study, scholarship or research.